Cancer: Week 2

Well here is where we begin. Yesterday my dad got the results back form his CT scan, and they were not able to confirm whether he was in stage 2 or stage 4. Stupid doctors. Regardless, he starts chemo/radiation next week sometime. I'm so scared for him. I just wish he didn't have to got through this. I wish so much. 

One of biggest concerns, if they have to do surgery is the kids. Because it's his tongue, he's so worried about scaring the kids. I told him that was ridiculous. And though I know that's the truth, I couldn't help but ache for him,  just that he even had to entertain the thought. Grandpa, scary? Not in a million.

Jamie & Kiara are coming down this weekend so we can all get together before he starts treatment. No matter how much of a handle I have on it, I still can't really grasp it either. If that makes any sense. I still haven't told the kids. Tomorrow. Maybe it would be better if dad was here? I dunno. He's supposed to be here tomorrow for dinner. It'll be the first time I've actually seen him since all this went down. 

I also contacted the Tibetan Healing academy. A friend of Allen's recommended a Tibetan doctor. I got in touch with them, and hopefully it might be something dad will look into after his initial treatment. 

I just got off the phone with dad, God I love him. He makes me laugh. Even in spite of all that's going on he still makes me laugh.

It's funny how less than a week ago I felt abandoned by my faith. And now, now I feel it all around me. I don't where or how, it's just suddenly here. But I guess that's just how faith works.