Chemo

Yesterday dad started his chemo and radiation treatment. I talked to him at the end of the day, and other than being tired (not surprising after that radiation treatment and then the 5 hour chemo drip) he said he was OK. He didn't really sound so hot, but who would?

He said he'd call me today, but he never did. It was strange, because on Sunday he mentioned that his friend that he met, who has the same cancer, started chemo last week. They had been talking every day, until after he started the chemo. Then he stopped calling. I could tell that kind of concerned him.

Well today, when I never heard from dad, I started thinking about it. I didn't want to call and disturb him, if he was not doing good. But at the same time, I really really want him to know I'm thinking about him. So around 7pm, I called. Jan answered. She said  he wasn't doing very good. They had a really rough night, and bad day. He's been pretty sick she said. He was resting, when I called, and couldn't really make it to the phone. 

It sounds like everything I ever knew of or heard about chemo. And it's only going to get worse. I am aching so much for him right now. I know that this is the only option, but man, it's just so bloody awful. My poor dad. I can't even bring the kids to see him, and because I do daycare, I'm scared to go see him myself.

It's all so unreal. We've been talking about it so much that now that it's here, it just doesn't seem real. The kids and I made a care package for him. We painted baby food jars, and filled them with different sized pom poms and gave each one a kiss, just for Grandpa. I filled my jar with about 50 "Hang In There" type quotes. I also took some pictures of them doing it too. I hope it makes him smile.

I just wish I could do more.